Hey, hey, hey… how’s it going? Give it a few more weeks and it’ll be fall! And then it’s Christmas, and New Year’s, and then your life’s over. So head on out to the theaters to live it up right now, because Matt Damon’s waiting for you in all his semi-nude glory… but wait! Is Mila more fun? 🙂
And… they’ve done it! Yes, Hollywood has accomplished its goal again. Gotta thank those moronic studio execs in their stupid fancy suits for taking an awesome concept and turning it to something completely and stupendously forgettable through yet another generic sequel.
So exactly how do you go about ruining something as perfect as the JASON BOURNE story? Well, first you get rid of the best screenwriter possible, in this case Tony Gilroy, who scripted the first and best installment of this story (yes, the script is everything!). Then you turn the main character into a complete and utter robot, devoid of any sort of character development, and make him intent only on punching people out. Also, give him monosyllables to grunt out once in a while—that always helps make him one-dimensional. Then, simply trot out the old plot and fill with generic—if stunning—action sequences designed for short bursts of euphoria—yup, just like a sugar rush, and voila! You have a sequel ready to shove out into theaters. But first, turn on the marketing machine and blanket the internet with flashy trailers to trick people into buying tickets and overpriced snacks… there you have it.
JASON BOURNE’s redeeming features include competent acting, excellent cinematography, and blazing action sequences. Plus, you’ll find the chronological updates very satisfactory: a Facebook-like entity (including the CEO) and other popular social media are a major part of the plot; our characters make use of a rich supply of various remote video feeds; drone warfare; and of course, there’s the motherlode: Snowden. Julia Stiles returns briefly in a do-gooder role. The evil CIA chief is portrayed by Tommy Lee Jones, and his disciple by current rising star Alicia Vikander. Is it worth $12? Well, here’s a thought: the instant you leave the theater, you’ll struggle to remember anything at all about it. If you don’t mind that, go for it. Here’s the trailer:
Has any of you ever been the target of an internet troll? Or should I ask, who hasn’t, in this day and age? Well, how about some revenge porn, then? NERVE is about a game in which players are assigned increasingly dangerous dares by anonymous watchers. Whoever gets the most watchers is the winner. Emma Roberts is one of the players with a possibly treacherous love interest (Dave Franco), an overanxious mother (Juliette Lewis), and quite a bit to lose. Sure there are some cliches, but overall, it’s an engaging flick, particularly for today’s tech-obsessed teen. Here’s the trailer:
Mila Kunis fans will enjoy her latest effort in BAD MOMS, an enjoyable little comedy about three stressed out moms who rebel against the residing PTA Nazi (Christina Applegate) and her uptight cronies (Jada Pinkett-Smith, Annie Murnolo). Amy (Kunis) and Kiki (Kristen Bell) have just about reached their breaking point between their kids, insane schedules and loser husbands, when they hook up with Carla (Kathryn Hahn)—a divorced mom who just doesn’t give a s*** anymore. The three connect over wild parties and crazy shopping sprees and such, but the PTA presidential election is where things really get going. It’s entertaining enough, but, given the stars and their collective talent, it could’ve gone much further instead of settling for the usual familiar ploys—or even risked a bit with the main character. Still, it has the makings of a big hit. Here’s the trailer:
And those are the newest highlights at your local theater for this weekend. Stay cool, everyone! And tell me what you think—about anything!