Hey there ladies and gents, I hope this finds you happy in the midst of spring cleaning? Yes, the curse has finally been lifted! Hopefully the last snows will be mild and March will indeed go out like a lamb. Anyhoo, let’s examine what’s new and worth it at the theater this weekend for your viewing pleasure!
Ho-hum. Another era, another Lara. At least Jolie had that crazy glint in her eyes that made the 1.5 hours entertaining. This Lara (Alicia Vikander), while smart, and capable of delivering an ass-kicking, is very meh. There’s zero personality behind that determination, so it’s a bit like watching a robot… perhaps a higher-functioning variant of the sort we encountered in EX MACHINA (which was a super awesome flick. Please be sure to see it).
Let’s analyze this a bit more—first, the story: chronologically, this one comes before the Jolie films. Young Lara has a job as a messenger despite the huge fortune she’s inherited, and also isn’t that interested in helming the attendant business empire. Instead, she’s busy trying to figure out what happened to Dad (Dominic West), who vanished while investigating Himiko, the Yamatai queen. She enlists the help of the son (Daniel Wu) of the captain who took her dad to Yamatai island, and soon encounters Vogel (Walton Goggins), an archeologist working for the ominous Trinity. And guess what? He’s also looking for Himiko’s tomb! So it’s the usual story, but with great action, great cinematography, good CGI, and a competent set-up for sequels being planned (oh yes, there’ll be aplenty). Heterosexual men may disagree, but I find the deletion of the sexpot image of the protagonist refreshing. However, those of you looking for some spark behind this cardboard cut-out of Lara, forget it. Here’s the trailer:
A teenage rom-com with a gay protagonist. It’s the usual high-school story set up complete with clueless parents, nerdy VP, sweet pop tunes, and so on, but it’s quite well made. Simon has a great life, with wonderful parents (Jennifer Garner, Josh Duhamel) and awesome friends Leah (Kath Langford), Nick (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.) and Abby (Alexandra Shipp), but faces the terror of coming out as gay—seriously, it’s truly unfortunate this is still the case in our society. Simon starts a hesitant friendship with ‘Blue,’ someone with the same problem, and the relationship blossoms. But… isn’t there always someone all too willing to s*** allover your happiness?? In Simon’s case, it’s fellow student Martin (Logan Miller). Upon discovering Simon’s secret, he blackmails him into manipulating his friends. Soon Simon is confronted with just how far he’ll go to protect ‘Blue.’ Here’s the trailer:
A dark comedy about a teen, that has trouble figuring out what it wants to take on/ be: the Me Too movement? Daddy issues? A version of Juno? A road movie? Zoey Deutch plays Erica, a teen who orchestrates carefully filmed tricks on older men to make the money required to bail out her incarcerated father. The problem begins when her hippy mother (Kathryn Zahn) moves her boyfriend and his son Luke (Joey Morgan) into the house. Initially resenting Luke, Erica takes up for him when she realizes that the ‘hot older dude’ (Adam Scott) she’s been ogling lately at the local bowling place used to molest Luke and was never prosecuted for it. Deutch and Hahn are excellent. Too bad this flick has no clue what it wants to be. Here’s the trailer:
And that’s it for me, boys and girls! Tweet me if you feel like it, and see you at the theater!