I’m having a boy. Hundreds of thousand of women do it every day. So then why am I freaking out?
A little context: my first child was a girl, and I felt like I was in familiar territory. The world of sugar and spice and everything nice, of princesses and tutus, wasn’t foreign to me, although it’s now way more over the top than when I was growing up. Ballet, pony tales, unicorns, rainbows…it all came naturally. I speak that language. (Leilani even has some of the same toys I had growing up.) I don’t have to think too hard about how to guide her because I’ve lived it, and she’s treading a similar path to mine.
Even though I grew up with a little brother and have an awesome dad and husband, I still feel intimidated at the thought of having a boy. Example: the boy’s toy aisles are INSANE. How do I navigate that? The toys are militaristic and downright scary today. The Halloween costumes have oversized muscles for five-year-olds. Talk about your pressure to be a man! The whole gun debate seems much more relevant when it comes to boys. They want to “shoot” things, “pulverize” things, even. Am I cool with that? I have to decide.
And those horrendous video games. Grand Theft Auto–ahhhh!
Bottom line: there’s an incredible pressure to be macho on boys that is brand new to me.
Then there are other important questions. Do we get our son circumcised or not? There’s the whole awkward, “boys-in-the-ladies’-restroom-with-mom-until-what-age” debate — yes, I have seen boys who look 10 waiting for their moms in the little girls’ room looking SO EMBARRASSED.
My doctor told me, “Girls are smart. Boys are born dumb, and they stay dumb.” What does he mean by that, exactly?
Well, boys try things without thinking, so I’m told. They take more risks, it seems (more dumb risks?). Even though I try really hard not to be a helicopter mom, that scares the bejesus out of me.
So yes, I’m freaking out.
But as much as I am freaking out about whether I can be a good mom to a little boy, I am really really excited about this new adventure. I know I’m going to make a hell of a lot of mistakes, but now I’m heading down a new beautiful and crazy new road where love and my new son will show me the way. Maybe I’ll even come to understand what the term “Mama’s boy” means, and I’m really looking forward to it.
I’m going to learn a lot more from him than he will from me, and I am okay with that.
So bring on the frogs and snails and puppy dog tails. I will try to be ready.
I can’t wait to meet this little guy! In spite of my fear of screwing up, I love him unconditionally already.
Okay, if you have advice on being a boy mom, please share it in the comments section. I need it!